A Thanksgiving Gift for You!

This time of year is a time of gratitude and gifts.

To show my appreciation to you, I created and recorded a hypnosis MP3 on gratitude. My goal is that it will help you to move through this sometimes challenging time of year with a sense of peace, calm and — most of all — gratitude.

This MP3 recording includes the beautiful music “Desert Flower,” recorded by Jo Anne Burns-Miller.

I hope that your Thanksgiving holiday is filled with love, hope, family, friends and gratitude.

Do You Suffer from Fear of Flying? Hypnosis Can Help

Fear of flying hypnosis

If you’re scared of flying, you know how it hurts your quality of life. The job opportunities you have to turn down. The family vacations you can’t take. The chances to visit far-away family and friends you have to avoid. But even though your life is harmed by fear of flying, hypnosis can help.

Causes of Flight Anxiety

People trace their fear of flying to different causes.

For many, it can be a bad experience flying. A bout of turbulence can make a happy flyer lose his nerve.

It doesn’t have to be personal experience either. After the airlines reopened in the wake of 9/11, they still had a 30 percent drop in passengers, as people chose to drive rather than fly (causing a substantial uptick in the number of ground-based traffic accidents).

Even aside from these experience-based reasons for fear of flying, other anxieties have an effect. The fear of panic attacks or claustrophobia, while they’re not specifically about “flying,” still have an effect on people who have to fly in an enclosed space with a lot of people, says David Carbonell in What Causes Fear of Flying?.

Dr. Raymond Lloyd Richmond, writing in Fear of Flying, says that flight anxiety is really a fear of not being in control. Since we’re not natively winged creatures, we feel vulnerable and fragile in an airplane.

Symptoms of Fear of Flying

If you are one of the unfortunates suffering from fear of flying, you know that it’s a painful condition, even if other people don’t understand it.

David Carbonell categorizes the symptoms as both physiological and psychological. The physical symptoms include tension, heart palpitations, abdominal discomfort, and sweating, weakness, and dizziness.

Psychological symptoms include impaired memory, poor judgment, expectations of danger or disaster, and thinking and rethinking the dangers.

In extreme cases, people have panic attacks and vomiting at the very thought of flying (Fear of Flying, Wikipedia).

How to Overcome Flight Anxiety

It’s easy for friends and loved ones to say that flying is 29 times safer than driving a car. It may even be true. But that doesn’t help someone suffering from flight anxiety. The problem with the statistics is that they do not stop people from being afraid of flying, writes Raymond Lloyd Richmond.

If someone with flight anxiety can’t be reasoned away from it, then how can they be helped?

If it’s experience-based, it might be just a matter of time. After a while, the post-9/11 non-flyers took to the air again. The memory of the turbulence or other trauma recedes, and it becomes more inconvenient to stay on the ground than to go in the air.

For the people whose flight anxiety does not go away by itself, some psychological treatments, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, desensitization, and relaxation techniques can be effective.

Some people turn to drug treatments, whether they self-medicate with alcohol and other drugs or go to doctors for prescriptions of anti-anxiety or anti-depressant medications.

Fear of Flying: Hypnosis Can Help

All these treatments can be aided or even possibly made unnecessary by hypnosis.

If you’ve had a traumatic experience in the air, hypnosis can help you get comfortable again with the idea of flying.

If you look to psychological treatments, hypnosis can help the cognitive-behavioral therapies take root in your subconscious. If what you need is relaxation, a hypnotherapy session can be just what the doctor ordered.

For people turning to drugs to overcome their fears, follow your doctor’s advice. But if you’re looking to self-medicate, try hypnosis first. Some effects of alcohol, for example, increase at high altitude.

In any case, fear of flying hypnosis can give relief to your symptoms in a non-invasive, drug-free way.

Get Your Free Fear of Flying Hypnosis Audio

In fact, as a gift to you, I would like to give you a gift of freedom from fear of flying. Just use the form below to sign up to receive your free hypnosis audio, and make that next trip a possibility for you. Your life is too important to miss opportunities for growth and connection that come from flying.

Or contact me for a free discovery session to explore an more in-depth program to overcome your fears.

Sleep Hypnosis: Easily Increase Your Performance — for Free

Sleep hypnosis

If you find your days full of irritation and weariness, along with mistakes that you kick yourself for, sleep hypnosis might be able to help.

Why Sleep Is Important

Arguably, the most important part of your day happens when you’re sleeping. That’s not saying anything bad about the rest of your day. It’s just that sleep helps you function well for the part of your life when you are paying attention. A lack of sleep can be a real problem for you — physically, mentally, and emotionally.

“Going without adequate amounts of [sleep] won’t just leave you tired and irritable, it can actually be dangerous, both to yourself and to others, and seriously deteriorate the quality of your life,” says Helen Sanders in Why is Sleep so Important to Your Physical and Mental Health?

Physical Health

While you’re sleeping, your body is working on healing the damage inflicted on it during the day. “Sleep is involved in healing and repair of your heart and blood vessels,” said the National Institutes of Health in Why Is Sleep Important?

​WebMD adds, “Study after study has found a link between insufficient sleep and some serious health problems, such as heart disease, heart attacks, diabetes, and obesity” (9 Surprising Reasons to Get More Sleep).

​If you want your body to perform at its peak, a simple doable way to help is to get enough sleep. Deep sleep hypnosis can help.

Mental Productivity

Your mental functioning works better with enough sleep also.

​While you’re sleeping, your brain processes what you learned the day before. It files your memories and empties your emotional cache, so that you can start the next day afresh.

“Studies have shown that while we sleep, our brains process and consolidate our memories from the day. If you don’t get enough sleep, it seems like those memories might not get stored correctly — and can be lost,” says 9 Surprising Reasons to Get More Sleep.

“Sleep loss affects how you think,” said Jodi A. Mindell, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at St. Joseph’s University in Philadelphia and author of Sleep Deprived No More. “It impairs your cognition, your attention, and your decision-making” (9 Surprising Reasons to Get More Sleep ).

A study published in 2004 demonstrated that loss of sleep takes “a toll on effective decision-making.” The study found that lack of sleep impairs people’s ability to estimate the time tasks would take and their own ability to them simple tasks, says Why sleep is important, published by the American Psychological Association.

​Hypnosis for insomnia helps your brain work better during the day.

Emotional Health

If you’re not getting enough sleep, you may find yourself irritable and hard to get along with. The usual problems make you angrier than usual, and people get on your nerves more.

“Lack of sleep can alter your mood significantly. It causes irritability and anger and may lessen your ability to cope with stress,” says What Lack of Sleep Does to Your Mind.

The National Institutes of Health points out:

Studies also show that sleep deficiency alters activity in some parts of the brain. If you’re sleep deficient, you may have trouble making decisions, solving problems, controlling your emotions and behavior, and coping with change. Sleep deficiency also has been linked to depression, suicide, and risk-taking behavior. (Why Is Sleep Important?)

Sleep hypnotherapy can help release the stresses of life so that you can get enough sleep. That way they won’t bother you as much tomorrow.

Sources of Insomnia

Insomnia may be caused by medical problems, such as allergies, chronic pain, endocrine problems, neurological problems. As they age, some people have trouble getting 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

But there are other reasons you have trouble falling asleep that are entirely under your control.

  • Skip the caffeine, especially late in the day
  • Stop watching your blue screens (computers, tablets, phones) about an hour before bed
  • Get more physical exercise
  • Unwind at the end of the day
  • Develop ways of dealing with the emotional stresses of the day so that they don’t torment you after lights-out

Whatever is causing your sleep problems, deep sleep hypnosis for insomnia can make a difference.

Sleep Hypnosis Can Help

Do you have trouble sleeping? Would you like to try hypnosis for sleep with no risk? I would like to give you a sleep hypnosis audio.

All it takes is a place and time where you won’t be disturbed for about 20 minutes, at best just before bedtime. Sit in a comfortable chair or lie on your bed, and listen to my voice leading you to release your anxiety and enter a state of calm relaxation.

​The sleep hypnosis audio speaks directly to your unconscious mind, persuading your muscles to relax and helping you unwind.

​People around the world use hypnosis for sleep. WebMD points out that hypnosis can be effective for sleep therapy. This hypnosis​ audio will help you sleep and give you an indication of what hypnosis​ can do for you.

​If you’ve wanted to try hypnosis, you can use this audio to see how effective a personalized program of hypnosis can be.

​Sign up below to get this and two other free hypnosis audio recordings. When you’re ready, schedule a free 30-minute discovery session to see how hypnosis can transform your life.

How Business Coaching Services Save You Money

Saving money

Business coaching services are an investment, no doubt about it. But when you listen to the top business performers — across the spectrum — you find again and again that they owe their success to business coaching. In fact, you’ll find that most of them continue to get coaching, even at the top of the game. Even the coaches have coaches. They know the value of business coaching. Business coaching is an investment, but business coaching services save you money.


Time is your most precious resource. You can’t make more of it, and you can’t replace what’s spent or lost. All you can do is to make better decisions about how to spend what you have left.

A business coach will help you do that. Not by telling you want to do, but by helping you develop your priorities and stick with them.

A business coach will serve as a sounding board, giving you feedback on your ideas and the benefit of her experience.

A business coach will keep you accountable, asking what you’ve accomplished toward your goal and helping you make progress without getting off track.

​With business coaching services, you don’t waste your valuable time on false starts and rabbit trails.


Whoever said, “Time is money” could have added, “And attention is money, too.” Attention is a scarce commodity in our noisy, busy world. Both the attention of your clients and prospects and your own attention to what’s important for your business and your life. What really matters to you, and how much time and energy do you put into it? It’s a question only you can answer, but it can be hard to wrap your mind around something even as simple and basic as “What do I value?” when there is so much competition for the value of your attention.

​Determining your work-life balance is all about allocating attention to the segments of your life. In a business context, we’re inundated with new marketing plans, different ways of acquiring customers, new services we can offer, and new modes of doing our work. It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of that well-written sales letter and carried on to the next thing. Business coaching services help you stay focused on your priorities, so that you don’t spend a lot of money chasing the next shiny object and losing track of what’s important to you.


Time and focus together make momentum — movement in a direction. We all have good days and bad days. Some days we’re sailing downhill, and others, we’re stuck in the mud. Momentum gives you the accumulated motion to get through the bad days, to keep on track, to go by habit where you sometimes get to go by inspiration. Through the benefits of business coaching — clarity, feedback, and accountability, business coaching services help you build and maintain momentum to make your dreams into goals and your goals into reality.

How Business Coaching Services Save You Money

Business coaching services are an investment in yourself, your future. Hiring a business coach is a strong step on your road to success, helping you to make the best use of your time and focus to build momentum for the long term. Business coaching services can save you money, but not just money. With a good coach, your whole life will be better, more balanced, more prosperous, more successful. If you would like to find out how business coaching can help you reach your goals, contact me for a free 30-minute discovery interview.

Three Steps to Effective Goal Setting and Planning

Fall can be a great time to set new goals

​Fall is a great time for goal setting and planning.

Something about the shrinking days, the cooling weather, and watching the leaves lose their summer luster urges us to change and new directions.

Maybe it’s a habit left over from school days, with the smell of new pencils and new clothes indicating a new school year. Maybe it’s the squirrels dashing around with their cheeks bulging with nuts, reminding us that it’s time to prepare for winter.

Whatever the reason, for many people the importance of goal setting hits home in the fall.

As we head for Labor Day, the traditional end of summer, here are three steps to make your personal goal setting more successful.

Step 1. Decide How You Want to Transform Your Life

What do you want to work on about yourself? Get healthy? Learn a new skill? Drop a habit?

Pick something that’s important to you. If somebody else wants it for you, that may not be enough. If you think you should, it may not be enough. The key to successful goal setting and planning is to make your goal your own priority.

Step 2. Get in Touch with Your “Why”

Effective goal-setting strategies always begin with the end in mind.

Think deeply about the pain or absence you’re experiencing and how this goal will help alleviate it. If your goal is learning to play the guitar, consider how much you will enjoy making music. Develop a clear picture of what success will look like — and feel like — for you.

Some people use a vision board — a collection of images that represent success — to look at every day. Others meditate on the desired outcome. Others take a few seconds to imagine what it will be like to have finished this great thing. Use any or all of these tactics, or something else entirely, to make your goal real and present for you.

When you know your “why,” goal setting and planning becomes meaningful and helps you to keep up your day-by-day momentum.

Create SMART goals

​Step 3. Make a Plan

There are a lot of great tips on setting SMART goals. SMART is an acronym for

Specific: It’s not enough to say, “I want to be healthy.” That’s too broad and all-encompassing. You’ll be overwhelmed and quit before making any progress. Pick one element of health (for now) and pursue it.

Measurable: If you don’t know your finish line, you won’t know if you succeed. “Start running” is not measurable. “Work up to running a mile per day” or “Participate in a marathon six months from now” gives you a goal to work toward and a sense of accomplishment when you get there.

Achievable: Expecting too much of yourself will set you up to crash and burn. If you’re just starting a new language, don’t expect to be reading classic literature in the original in the first six weeks.

Realistic: If you’ve set yourself a big lifetime goal, such as learning to meditate or playing a musical instrument, focus on the habit. So it’s not “learn to play the piano.” The greatest concert pianist in the world is still trying to “learn to play the piano.” Instead make it “take lessons and practice a half hour per day,” or whatever you decide. At the end, you’ll find you’ve had some ups and downs, some good days and bad days, but you’ll see encouraging progress.

Timely: Part of having a finish line is knowing “when” you’re done. There’s evidence that it takes 6 weeks to create a habit. Try making 6-week goals. At the end of the 6 weeks, reevaluate your goal. If you don’t want to continue, try something else. If it’s become part of your daily life, you can keep going or increase your commitment.

​Smart goal setting and planning will help you create goals that will change your life for the better.

Goal setting and planning

​Building a Life of Goal Setting and Planning

Goal achievement doesn’t have to be dreary. In fact, if it is dreary, you probably haven’t picked a goal that speaks to you. Using powerful goal-setting techniques can help you improve your life by making small changes every day.

If you would like more information about effective goal setting, get my book, The Power of Goal Setting, or find out about my Goal Setting Workshop.

I can also help you choose and keep your goals with one-to-one coaching. Set an appointment for a free discovery session to find out if we would be a good fit.

Work life balance on tightrope

Work-Life Balance: Key to Your Successful, Healthy, Fulfilling Life

Many people, especially solopreneurs, struggle with work-life balance.

They find it hard to cope with the demands of both work and non-working life. It’s a situation that leads to burnout, unhealthy coping strategies, sleepless nights and weary days, resentment toward family and inability to focus on work.

Work-life balance is more than a luxury. It’s necessary to a healthy, productive, and fulfilled life.

The importance of work-life balance is in building contentment and satisfaction into every aspect of your life.

What Is Work-Life Balance?

The “right” work-life balance is different for everybody. It depends on your work and what it means to you, how well your work integrates into your daily life, and the importance of your out-of-work activities to your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

Being out of balance happens, no matter who you are or what you do. Your life may go out of balance when an emergency occurs or a big opportunity pops up. Health changes or changes in your life situation will require you to update your balance, as you figure out a new way of living.

Work-life balance strategies involve finding your balance and correcting it when you notice that it’s going out of whack. Imagine a tightrope walker carrying the long pole high above the audience in the big top. Through practice, the performer has found her balance, and she constantly manages the weight on both sides of the pole through small adjustments as she slides across the wire.

The key to healthy work-life balance is in making decisions about what is important, what invigorates your life, and how to get help to meet commitments that challenge your management of time and energy.

It may be hard to develop and maintain your ideal work-life balance, but it’s worth the effort because of the rich work-life balance benefits.

Benefit 1: Lower Stress

One of the main causes of falling out of work-life balance is saying yes to too many demands on both sides of the tightrope walker’s pole.

If your balance is work and family, maybe you find yourself volunteering for too many committees or taking on too many extra work assignments. That can lead to stress and resentment against either or both sides of the balance. Stress causes strain on your heart, blood pressure, digestion, and every body system. When your health goes down, you find yourself accomplishing less, not more, and the overcommitments spiral into greater problems.

When you make realistic decisions about what you can do with your life, you feel more successful, with less of a constant feeling of failure. The result is that you accomplish what you set out to do.

Benefit 3: Healthier Life

Having unrealistic expectations about what you can or “should” accomplish in your life can lead to unhealthy habits, from overeating to addictions, as you deal with your feelings of failure by hiding from them.

Overly optimistic beliefs about what you “should” accomplish can also cause you to leave out priorities like exercise and taking the time and effort to eat healthy meals. Again, it begins a downward spiral of lower energy leading to lower productivity, to demanding more from yourself to catch up, to paying less attention to living a healthy life. The life you want goes down the drain.

When you include rational self-care in your work-life balance strategies, you’re more productive, and you have more enjoyment in the life you have chosen.

Benefit 2: Creative Solutions to Problems

There’s wisdom in the old saying, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” Brain scientist Barbara Oakley has identified the value of “focused and diffuse learning.”

When you’re trying to do something new, whether it’s learning a language or solving a problem, it takes two kinds of thinking — focused and diffuse. Focused thinking is pointed directly at the problem. Diffuse learning happens when your mind is turned elsewhere — sleeping, for example, or doing something entirely different. The most successful learning and problem-solving happens when focused and diffuse thinking alternate.

Everybody will find problems and challenges on both sides of the work-life balance. It’s good to work at finding a solution, but it’s also good to look away from it. Take a walk, take a nap, handle something else for a while. Dealing with a toddler may give you insight into the behavior of your challenging client. Dealing with a client problem may help you understand what your significant other really needs from you.

People who are tempted to spend their entire lives on one thing only risk making themselves less competent at that one thing. Realistic work-life balance strategies will enrich both sides of the equation and give you more happiness and fulfillment in the totality of your life.

Work-life balance: signpostBringing Work-Life Balance into Your Life

Finding the right work-life balance for you will make your life better. But it’s not easy. You’re fighting against long-established habits and dealing with demands of people who don’t understand what you’re trying to accomplish in your whole life (and who may not even care).

​It’s up to you to figure out what’s important, stake out a claim to it, preserve the territory from time-predators outside and inside yourself. And then you must proactively adjust the balance every day to deal with unexpected needs and opportunities.

If that seems like a challenge, a life and business coach can help. We’ll start by understanding your core values so that you’ll know your style of thinking, problem-solving, and learning. Then I’ll help you develop a plan for your life and business that uses your strengths and helps you build a life that works for you.

You can find and build your work-life balance, given enough time and energy. Many people spend months or years of frustration. Or you can get your life on track in a few weeks, by finding a guide who can ask the right questions, give you judgment-free feedback, and help you clarify what you need and want from the life you’re building.

If you would like more information, call me today, or make an appointment for your free Discovery Session.

Three Benefits of Business Coaching: How They Help You Thrive

Benefits of business coaching

Any business owner, whether experienced or new to the work, can feel the pressure of stress, anxiety, and overwhelm.

  • Stress makes you feel the weight of too much responsibility.
  • Anxiety makes you feel that danger is all around.
  • Overwhelm makes it impossible to choose among the many options and opportunities around you.

Stress, anxiety, and overwhelm make your life harder than it needs to be. At an extreme, they can cause mental and emotional paralysis. They can bring your business to the ground.

But you don’t have to continue to suffer. You have a resource for help.

Business coaching helps overcome stress, anxiety, and overwhelm in your business by countering them with —

  • Clarity
  • Feedback
  • Accountability


If you’ve ever driven in a snowstorm, you’ve seen how life can come at you in a dizzying stream. So many choices, so many opportunities, so many new tools and technologies, so many tried-and-true methods that have never gone away.

How do you choose? How do you experiment without chasing every shiny object? The author of a blog post at The Small Business Coaches writes, “You may be so consumed with the day-to-day running of your business that you’ve lost the ability to figure out what you want.”

At the core, the question is about who you are and how you want to proceed.

That sounds easy, but having a guide to help you make clear decisions can clear your mind and give you the confidence to blaze your own trail.

A good business coach will help you understand your own goals and working style. She’ll help you know what’s worth your time and how to manage the opportunities coming your way.

One of the benefits of business coaching is being sure that you’re doing the right thing right now.


We live in a stream of words, thoughts, and ideas. We talk to ourselves, communicate with others, take in the words of “experts” who seem to know more about what we should be doing than we do.

Even if we stop it all by turning off our devices and going for a walk in the woods, we still have to make plans and processes that make sense. And that can turn into a hamster wheel of “if this, then that,” but “if that, then something else, but what about this?” And around and around and around.

Having someone listen to the questions spinning around in your head can be incredibly helpful. Someone who doesn’t share your particular blind spots, who has seen people take this path before, who can help you make connections you might have missed.

Getting feedback is one of the valuable benefits of business coaching. You get a supportive neutral party to help you sort your priorities and evaluate what you should do next.


Many people have a love-hate relationship with deadlines. On the one hand, a deadline accuses you of procrastination and then keeps you up late, finishing just under the wire. And all the while, you’re promising, “It will never happen again.’”

On the other hand, the deadline makes you come through and finish. Whether it’s your best work or not, it’s done, no longer hanging over your head.

Business coaching provides accountability without judgment. It’s not a matter of “turn in the paper or fail the course.” It’s more like, “How’s that plan coming along?” By maintaining a nonjudgmental attitude, your business coach leads you to want to make progress before the next meeting.

Benefits of Business Coaching

When you put together clarity, feedback, and accountability, you have a winning formula.

You know what you want to accomplish.

You get helpful advice in deciding how to accomplish it.

You get someone paying attention to whether you follow your plan or not.

Some people list the benefits of business coaching as things like confidence, better strategy, more money. Those are fine things, but they don’t come off the shelf.

In a 2014 study by the International Coach Federation, participants stated their reasons for seeking business or personal coaching:

Here are their top answers:

  • Optimize work performance
  • Expand professional career opportunities
  • Increase self-esteem or self-confidence
  • Improve business management strategies
  • Manage work/life balance

These may seem like different goals, but they all flow naturally from clarity about what you want to accomplish, feedback about your strategies to accomplish it, and accountability in your efforts to carry out your plan.

If you would like to transform your business and your life, contact me to ask questions or schedule a free 30-minute discovery session.

Life Coaching Questions: How to Change Your Life

Life coaching questionsIf you’ve thought about improving your life — and who hasn’t? — you might have some life coaching questions.

If so, you’re in good company. Life and professional coaching are on the rise around the world, as people look for mentoring and feedback to handle challenges and transitions.

In a worldwide study of life and professional coaches, the 2016 ICF Global Coaching Study found that “75 percent of coach practitioners with active clients said they expect their number of coaching clients to increase over the next 12 months.”

If so many people are turning to coaches to help, it might be a good idea for you.

Not sure? Here are the answers to some life coaching questions you may have.

1. What Is Life Coaching?

Life coaching is a mentoring relationship you establish with a person trained in listening and giving you feedback to help you reach your goals.

Life coaching is not for people with serious mental illnesses. I can work in cooperation with mental health care providers, but a life coach and mental health therapist have different approaches.

One of my clients, Liz Vachon, wrote, “Unlike therapy, there were few opportunities for long drawn out pity parties on how unfair life had been to me. Coaching, as I came to find out, was centered and focused on solutions. Judith listened, asked questions, then we went to work on what solutions were possible for my so called problems.”

Life coaching is a forward-looking process for people who want to make improvements in their lives, such as:

  • Building confidence
  • Accomplishing a goal
  • Handling difficult situations
  • Making decisions
  • Navigating life changes.

“Coaching focuses on shaping the future,” writes Ashley Stahl in Busting The Top 5 Myths About The Coaching Industry, at Forbes.com

2. What Does a Life Coach Do?

Mostly, a life coach listens, asking questions that help you understand and embrace your goals. We give feedback and the benefit of our experience to help you make decisions. And then, if you’re willing, we’ll hold you accountable to following through on the decisions you’ve made.

“Coaches are great in identifying when you are lying to yourself and pointing out any limiting beliefs that may be keeping you back from achieving what you want,” writes Sophia Fromell in The Rising Popularity of Life Coaching at Entrepreneur.com.

I have a general plan that I follow with my coaching clients. It begins with the Core Values Index, which helps both of us know what’s important to you.

I offer a 12-Week Program to Change that gives my clients long-lasting success.

How does life coaching work? Life coaching gives you the space to explore what’s bothering you and what would make it better. It’s not a life coach’s job to tell you what to do. We may offer our experience as a set of options to explore, but it all comes down to what you decide.

If you say you’d like to develop more self-confidence, we can talk about different ways of going about that. You make a plan and carry it out. On your next visit, we talk about how the effort went and whether you want to go forward with that plan or change it in some way. I like to say that my office is a judgment-free zone, and that gives you the freedom to explore what you really want from life and how to get it.

3. What Can a Life Coach Do for Me?

“Coaching can help you achieve clarity and empowerment,” Ashley Stahl writes.

Here are some common life coaching benefits that people report:

  • A clear understanding of what you want and how to achieve it
  • Accountability — someone to listen to you and ask if you’re following through
  • Feedback from someone who supports you without judging
  • A space to figure out where you are and where you want to go
  • A chance to make the changes you want in your life

What you gain by life coaching depends on what you’re trying to achieve. One of my clients, Clara, wrote, “I recommend coaching with Judith because it is done in a comfortable setting (your home over the phone) and thru consistency (once a week) and with her many years of knowledge and skill, all make for an excellent way to change old habits that, for many of us, are hard to break.”

Nationwide, “Businesses that offer life coaching services to their employees have been shown to regain a 300% return on investment,” says The Growing Profession of Life Coaching: A Statistical Overview at DISC Insights.

4. Where Can I Find a Life Coach?

There are life coaches around the world — and in your neighborhood.

You want someone trained and experienced. And you want to have a conversation with that person to know if you’re a good match in personality and approach.

If you’re looking for a Southwest Portland life coach or a Beaverton life coach, you’ll find my office easy to get to.

Another option, whether you’re nearby or across the globe, is long-distance coaching, by phone or by Skype. It gives the same coaching experience without the travel that can be difficult or impossible for some people.

Take the first step. Call me or schedule your free half-hour discovery session today.

Business Coaching for Creatives Helps Creative Solopreneurs Thrive

Created using Visme. An easy-to-use Infographic Maker.

Creative businesspeople have their own set challenges and strengths. Through business coaching for creatives, I help you overcome those challenges and build on those strengths.

Who Are Creatives?

Are you a creative? That’s an easy question to answer if you work in the classic arts fields—as a writer, artist, designer, or musicians. But those are not the only business people with a creative approach to their work.

The Core Values Index, which I explore with my clients, categorizes people by their strengths and their approach to their work. Innovators are people who solve problems. Although everyone is different, the Innovator’s strength is more in coming up with ideas than in implementing, documenting or selling their ideas.

A solopreneur always has to fill in for the inevitable gaps in her skill set. Creative people have their own kind of gaps that business coaching for creatives can help.

Challenges of Creative Business People

The idea of the starving artist is so common that it has its own syndrome. Jeff Goins thoroughly debunks it here. The starving artist syndrome is a set of beliefs that:

  1. Artists can’t make enough to live on.
  2. Creative people should have crappy jobs and spend all their free time making art no one will know about until they’re dead.
  3. It’s perfectly OK for friends and family to ask when you’re going to get a “real job.”
  4. Selling your art is “sleazy,” and prosperity is beneath your dignity.

Creative people often struggle with imposter syndrome, the beliefs that they aren’t really good enough and when the world finds out their weakness, the outcome will be disastrous. If that’s you, it gives you something in common with some of the most competent people around.

Business coaching for creatives

Business Coaching for Creatives Can Help

Once creative people accept the fact that they are, indeed, businesspeople, they can begin using their strengths to build a sustainable and prosperous life. Creative business owners need to do what all businesspeople need to do:

  • Find clients
  • Do the work
  • Get paid

Some of the techniques and strategies will be the same as anyone else in business. Owning a website, meeting people in the real world, getting out the message one way or another.

In other ways, the creative business person will bring a unique and exciting vision to the work that can have the more plodding left-brained people copying them.

If you’re a creative person making your way in the world of business, I can help you make your way successfully. I can give you guidance and feedback. Help you overcome the limiting beliefs that so many artistic types struggle with. Help you manage your energy so that you make the most of your life.

Solopreneurs, particularly, will gain perspective about how to make the most of their own gifts and reach out for experience to people who fall into different segments of the Core Values Index.

Business coaching for creatives can make a big difference in your success. Call me or sign up for a free 30-minute discovery session.

Hypnosis for Confidence: How to Increase Your Self-Confidence

Confident woman

Some of my patients come to me for hypnosis​ for confidence.

Effects of Low Self-Confidence

If you struggle with a lack of self-confidence​, then you know the costs:

  • ​Social anxiety
  • Fear of dating
  • Poor performance in interviews
  • Fear of driving
  • ​Fear of rejection​
  • Terror of public speaking
  • Low self-esteem
  • Fear of taking tests

You can miss out on joyful life events or a sense of accomplishment because of low self-confidence.

Matthew Tweedie writes: “It’s common for people lacking confidence to avoid seizing regular opportunities, due to feelings of inadequacy, fear of failure, or simply feeling that they don’t deserve good things in their lives.” A lack of confidence can also make it harder to change in other ways, such as weight loss or escaping a bad relationship.

Hope in Hypnosis​ for Confidence​

​If you struggle with low confidence, there’s hope in hypnotherapy for confidence.

If you struggle with low confidence, there’s hope in hypnotherapy for confidence. Click To Tweet

Hypnosis can change the patterns of thought that make you fear going out and having an impact. Through hypnotherapy, you’ll come to realize that you have the power to make changes in your life and move forward.

Roger Elliott says, “Hypnosis builds a ‘bridge’ from where you are just now to your destination — doing what you want to do comfortably.”​

Hypnosis Helps with Public Speaking

One of my clients, Quint, illustrates how hypnosis for confidence can help. “I was tired of the sick feeling in my stomach and sweaty palms every time I gave a status report at work,” he said.

Through hypnosis he built his confidence enough to put his efforts into public speaking with Toastmasters. He went on to win the state Toastmasters competition and is going on to the International competition. His ability to stand and speak to an audience is a testament to his improved self-confidence. Watch his winning talk on my testimonial page.

If you would like to speak your truth, stand taller, be able to look people in the eye — all with more confidence — then hypnosis may be the right step for you.

Building Confidence through Hypnotherapy

Building confidence is so important that our very first session together focuses on building confidence, repairing the damaged child, and restoring his or her confidence. Then the child can move forward in time and repair the adult’s confidence.

Throughout our hypnosis sessions we work to repair whatever damaged your confidence. We create a “different” way of looking at life events. It’s easy to find out if hypnosis for confidence is right for you.

Hypnosis and confidence-building go together like peanut butter and jam. Hypnotherapy is absolutely one of the easiest and fastest ways to build up slagging confidence. Just book your Free 30-Minute Discovery Session with me and we can talk about whether hypnosis would be the right next step for you.

End Self-Sabotage to Accomplish Your Goals

Self-sabotage is a killer of dreams

Self-sabotage is a killer of dreams.

Self-Sabotage Definition

Have you ever tried to break a habit or achieve a goal and found that you’re your own worst enemy? You set out with great intentions to make a change, and your own self-destructive tendencies make it difficult if not impossible to follow through. You wonder, “Why do I sabotage myself?”

If that describes you, you’re not alone. Many people feel weighed down by warring tendencies, even when they really want to make positive changes in their lives.

Jennifer Nelson writes:

Self-sabotage most commonly appears in quick-fix behaviors like shopping when you need to save or get out of debt, starting flings with unavailable partners when you’re looking for “the one,” comfort eating when trying to lose weight, or refusing to risk failure when you want to succeed.

It can feel like you have a whole city living inside you, all with their own goals and agendas. There’s the child — who usually wants what she wants — and now! Then there’s the boss, who demands that things get done in a certain way — and is quite stern about the schedule. Then there’s the dreamer, who would rather be doing anything but working. There may be a parent trying to keep everyone on task. And the list goes on and on and on.

In the midst of all that, it’s hard for you to get them on the same page and pulling in the same direction.

One or more of these parts of your self may be sabotaging you from reaching your goal.

Understanding Self-Sabotage

For example, let’s say you want to lose weight (I prefer to call it “release weight,” because people don’t like to “lose” things). You know all you need to know about what to eat, how much to exercise, and all the rest. But no matter how much you know or what you decide, you still reach for that sweet or feel just too tired to go to the gym. For reasons you can’t quite put your finger on — you can’t do what you know you want to do.

John Drury writes:

Self-sabotage strategies range from procrastinating, self-medicating with one drug or another, finding solace in comfort foods instead of exercise, unhealthy habits, poor self-management and a range of other conscious and unconscious destructive behaviours.

Why do we self-sabotage?

There is a part of you that keeps getting in the way. Until the needs and demands of that part are dealt with, you are mostly doomed to keep repeating the same self-sabotaging behaviors.

Hypnosis helps you get all your 'parts' on the same page

How to Stop Self-Sabotaging Behavior

Hypnosis can help you overcome self-sabotage.

Hypnosis allows you to deal with all the various coping strategies you’ve developed over the years (that appear as characters in your subconscious mind), each one with its own preferred method of dealing with your problems. In the weight-loss example, it may be that one part of you feels happier while eating ice cream. Another part might be demoralized by the difficulty of starting an exercise program. Neither one has any interest in your long-term plans for better health. And neither is likely to be persuaded by rational explanations of why you want to release weight.

During your hypnosis session, I will bring out each part of you that is determined to sabotage your success and find out why. When you understand what needs are not being met, you can find ways to to meet those needs without undermining your goals.

I will also talk to the part that is determined to succeed. I help lead the sabotaging part and the motivated part to some kind of agreement.

Through hypnosis, we explore your past, to find out what created the problem to begin with. Together, we address it, reframe it, and help you start living life as you desire.

Although this might sound bizarre, it works. It works because it all takes place inside your subconscious, where all your feelings, beliefs, and memories reside.

Through this process, the motivating part of you becomes stronger and more determined. And the parts of you that were formerly at war with your success are quieted and comforted in some way that doesn’t work against you.

Call me at (503) 318-9343, or click the Free 30-Minute Discovery Session button and schedule time to talk about what you wish to change in your life. Stop the Self-Sabotage!

Frequent Question: How Many Hypnotherapy Sessions Do I Need?

​People who want to make life changes, from anxiety to smoking to weight loss sometimes ask me, “How many hypnotherapy sessions do I need?”

Part of the answer is, “It depends.”

How Hypnosis Works

Hypnotherapy is an easy and low-stress treatment that takes you into a relaxed state. While you’re in that state — awake and aware — the hypnotherapist can have a conversation with your subconscious mind. Working together, you and the therapist discover what’s holding you back from what you’re trying to accomplish.

Because hypnosis works beneath the “radar” of your conscious mind, we can get at the deep reasons you continue habits you would prefer to stop. Hypnotherapy is like “installing antivirus software into the hard drive of the subconscious mind,” says Deb Yaffee.

Even so, as a hypnotherapist, I can’t make you change.

Imagine that someone comes to hypnotherapy to quit smoking, but only because his family members demanded it. If he doesn’t want to quit, he simply won’t. Or if he quits for a short time, it won’t last.

How Many Hypnotherapy Sessions Do I Need?

If you are seeking real change, we can probably accomplish it in about five weekly hypnotherapy sessions of two hours each. Five weeks is a very short time to end a long-time unhealthy behavior

It can take time and repetition to change undesirable behaviors to the ones you want. In my practice, I use the 7th Path Hypnosis System, which gives you the tools to continue your work at home.

The 7th Path program encourages you to practice your new way of being with simple twice-daily meditation exercises that are a form of self-hypnosis. Practice makes permanent.

If, for some reason, there’s a need for more hypnotherapy sessions, we can always add one or two.

It’s impossible to do “too many” hypnosis sessions, because it’s just a matter of relaxing conversation. You make your own discoveries and your own decisions.

Get Answers to Your Hypnotherapy Questions

Hypnotherapy gets down to the level of the barriers holding you back from the new life you’re looking for.

The 7th Path System “has built-in steps that work toward removing old subconscious barriers to successful living.”

If you think hypnosis might help you make that change you desire, schedule a free discovery session. I’ll help you decide if hypnosis might be right for you.

Celebrate Your Personal Independence by Finding Your Soul Purpose

Find your soul purpose

Happy Fourth of July!

As we celebrate our national independence, we might also ask, “What does independence mean for me? Am I following others’ expectations, rather than discovering my soul purpose in life?”

If the question of discovering the true purpose of life resonates with you, I can help. I offer a Soul Purpose Hypnosis that explores those deep questions surrounding discovering your soul mission.

Soul Purpose Definition

What is my soul purpose? Mohit Tahiliani writes:

Our Soul Purpose is our unique ability to be good in a particular area of Life, which we enjoy to the fullest and which we can do it easily compared to other people.

Another way to look at your soul purpose is as your deepest talent, your driving passion.

Knowing your purpose in life can give you the sense of direction you need to be sure of who you are and where you’re meant to be going.

Discover Your Soul Purpose

If you’d like to know more about your soul purpose, I invite you to stop by for a chat at the Sun, Sand, Surf and Psychics Healing Faire, from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Saturday, July 22, sponsored by If The Broom Fits, located at 8845 SW Commercial Street, Tigard.

Among other things, I’ll be able to answer your questions and give you a special coupon price on my Soul Purpose Hypnosis Program.

The Soul Purpose Program is a 2-hour hypnosis session that takes a deep dive into your soul purpose in life. Together we explore how you have shaped your experience and how you can become the extraordinary person that you are.

In this hypnosis program, I’ve heard people’s voices change as their soul begins to communicate with me. I’m in awe to hear their insights as they respond from a higher place.

​During this intense session, clients discover why they chose this particular time to live, what they are here to accomplish, what people they are supposed to meet on this journey, and what cords from the past need cutting.

My clients have said that discovering their soul mission and life purpose changed their lives. It helped find out if they have any cords they need to cut from the past.

The Soul Purpose Program is 2 hours of hypnosis for $250. At the end, you take away a complete recording of the session, so that you can use it to continue the transformation you desire in your life.

Please visit my booth at the Sun, Sand, Surf and Psychics Healing Faire, ask any questions you might have, and receive your $35 discount.

Frequent Question: Will Hypnotherapy Help My Anxiety and Depression?

Happy woman blowing bubblesOne of my most-asked questions is this: “Will hypnotherapy help my anxiety and depression?”

No one can promise a cure for anxiety and depression without a medical license, but my clients have had some amazing results.

For some people, anxiety and depression are medical issues. (If you have clinically diagnosed depression, seek the services of a medical professional — physician, psychiatrist, or psychologist.)

For others, their sadness and fear comes from painful life experiences that have changed the way they interact with the world. For those people, hypnosis can offer a spectacular transformation for the good.

Why does hypnosis work? Because it gets to the underlying causes of your condition.

Past incidents, often unremembered, such as poor parenting, trauma at school, painful relationships, and other events can make us fearful and sad, even after the events seem to be healed on the surface and are forgotten.

In response to those painful events, people sometimes turn to bothersome behaviors, such as overeating, drinking too much, or taking drugs. They may find themselves with no energy or angry and yelling or crying for no obvious reason. They may find themselves in the same negative relationships over and over again.

My clients often say, “I have no idea why I do what I do.”

Hypnosis gets quickly and easily to the core pain and neutralizes it. You don’t forget the incident; you simply take the energy out of it. It doesn’t carry the same punch it did.

Once you understand why you do what you do, you can make rational decisions in your life without pain manipulating you into repeating unhealthy behaviors.

If you are suffering from a non-medical depression or anxiety issue or if you’re practicing behaviors that aren’t serving you, hypnosis might be the answer to help you to start living the life you want and deserve.

A woman listens to relaxing sounds on headphones

With relaxation hypnosis, take a vacation without leaving home

When your life gets too stressful, relaxation hypnosis can help.

​Life is full of stress. In this political climate we see families and friends split in strife over politics. There are conflicts over family matters. When you get on the highway, it seems that everybody wants to get there first.

Even if you decide not to take a side or to maintain your cool, the air is filled with hostility. We pick up on these energies around us, and they affect us in many ways — mostly negative. You feel the stress in your shoulders, your neck, and your jaw. It makes you irritable, spreading the conflict outward in circles like ripples on a pond.

That’s where relaxation hypnosis comes in. Using the power of your subconscious mind, you can take a restful break away from the stressors in your life.

WebMD.com describes hypnosis as a therapy for stress and pain:

During hypnosis, the conscious part of the brain is temporarily tuned out as the person focuses on relaxation and lets go of distracting thoughts. The American Society of Clinical Hypnotists likens hypnosis to using a magnifying glass to focus the rays of the sun and make them more powerful. . . . When hypnotized, a person may experience physiologic changes, such as a slowing of the pulse and respiration, and an increase in alpha brain waves. The person may also become more open to specific suggestions and goals, such as reducing pain. In the post-suggestion phase, the therapist reinforces continued use of the new behavior.

​Give yourself​ a half-hour undisturbed to listen to this free relaxation hypnosis audio. I’ll walk you through the process​ of calming your nerves and relaxing your muscles, so that​ you come back refreshed and ready to take on your life again.

​This relaxation audio is just like a visit to my office, except in my office, I offer direct suggestions focused on your unique needs.

​There are a variety of ways to release stress in your life. You can do something creative, go for a walk, remember to breathe. This relaxation audio file is another tool in your toolbox to deal with everyday stress.

​This is a free MP3 file that you can listen to again and again. It will provide you calm and comfort in the face of whatever is wearing you down.

Take time to Pause

Take Pause

What does it mean to Pause? What could you accomplish in a moment’s Pause?

Good questions – yes?

How many of you actually take time during your day to Pause? If you are like me – not near often enough. I even went so far as to purchase a bracelet that has a buzzer that goes offmani, orologio, ora, tempo, velocit every 90 minutes to remind me to Pause. The only problem with it is that every 90 minutes I am treated with a shock to my system as it buzzes on my wrist.


I took it off. And there went $40 down the drain.

Although I don’t miss the vibration on my wrist, I do miss that reminder to just take a moment and breathe. Ahhhh! What a difference a moment of just noticing my breathing makes.


So, what can you do when you take a moment to Pause during your busy day?Just breathe

You can:   Be grateful,  Say a prayer, Breathe, Send a text to someone saying, “I love you”,Look in the mirror and smile and send love all over yourself,Stretch (my dog constantly stretches),Self-Check and ask yourself how you are feeling,Close your eyes for 30 seconds, Drink water, Raise and lower your shoulders and shake out your hands, Go outside and relish in some fresh air.

Next question is how to remind yourself to take that moment? A way that doesn’t jolt the system. Do you have any ideas? I would love for you to share how you remind yourself to take that moment to pause. Please share because someone – like me – might really appreciate it.share


For now –pause – sighing off – Ahhhh!





Lois Shannon on March 18, 2016 at 2:44 pm
blank-postHi Judith, I love this post as I am a big believer that any change or transformation starts with a Pause. I also feel that with our very busy lives we can need a reminder to stop and breath. I feel we often need ‘Permission to Pause’ as women. Pause is the beginning of a 4 step process we have at The Women’s Network, a platform for women’s healing and reclaiming our sovereignty. We developed an app to do just what you are referring to in your post, a reminder to take a Mindful breath. It’s called Airin. We are getting approval from Apple and it should be ready to sell soon. You can get an idea about it if you go to the Womens Network. I love all of the ideas you have for what we can do when we take this moment to pause in our day:)

Time goes so quickly

I can’t believe it is already February 2016…

I can’t believe it is already February 2016 – but maybe I say that every year. Time just goes so quickly and things that I was determined to get done in January – well – they are now postponed for February. februaryDo you do that? I think, unfortunately, that’s what most of us do. I believe in goals and working for what we really want for tomorrow – and yet, I also believe in living in the present and enjoying the gift of “today.”So, how can you make plans for tomorrow and continue to enjoy and take in all the uniqueness of right now? That takes practice – a practice I am continue to learn and practice.

You have made a goal – a plan – of what you want from your future – that is what keeps us motivated. It’s important to remember that goal. But perhaps the whole goal itself seems overpowering – too much – too big a bite. Can you eat an entire apple all at once? Nope! You have to take bites – and the smaller the bites – the more you get to enjoy the juiciness of that apple. It’s the same with a dream – a goal. Break that goal down into small bites that you can easily chew. Instead of only looking at the end result – see what you can do to feel accomplished with small bites heading toward that goal. And then enjoy and celebrate each small bite.


Celebration is the key to achieving a goal. What? Isn’t the end goal itself the celebration? Yes, it is – but we need to celebrate along the way in order to stay motivated.

Little preschooler boy eat apple, outdoor portrait

Little preschooler boy eat apple, outdoor portrait

I have a client who really enjoys being on her computer and playing games with friends and checking out her Facebook status. Many of us can relate to this. However, she finds hours go by and she has been sitting way too long and not achieved anything that she wanted to get done. My suggestion to her was to make a list of what she wants to get done – dust, vacuum, do the laundry, etc. then next to each one of the these “chores,” she writes down a celebration. Therefore, as she gets a chore done, she can enjoy a celebration right afterward. Dust = Facebook. This does two things. One it gets the chore done and two, causes less guilt in “just” sitting and going through Facebook.

How can you make your goals more fun? One way is to join my fun goal setting (and achieving) class which starts on Saturday, Feb. 6th and goes for 6 weeks (12 hours) with a break between the 5th and 6th session. Put more fun in your goals with this creative, interactive class!dreams

Do you have some ideas how to make goals more fun? Please share.

Are you living your dream

Where are you?

Do You Know Where You Are Going newspaper clipping
Where are you in your life? That may seem like a weird question – but when you think about it, it does have an answer.

Road through landscape. Road and car travel scenic and sunset.

You grow up, make plans, and then life gets in the way. Life has a way of doing that.

You start out on a road that you believe will lead you to success and then things happen – marriage, children, lack of jobs, health issues, so many things stop you from that ultimate goal you were seeking.

Or, if you were like me, you never really made plans a whole lot further than tomorrow. And then tomorrow came, and another tomorrow, and another until – oh my – years have passed and your no closer to what you thought life was supposed to be like.

I am, more or less, living my dream now. I am doing the work I am passionate about (coaching and hypnotherapy); I have a dog (who is my love), my granddaughter (whom I adore), friends and family.

So, my question is – are you living your dream – now? If not, what is stopping you? Most of the time it is us getting in our own way. We do this by blocking success through self-sabotage – oh yes, we do Self Sabotage ourselves a lot. We also have thought patterns, which focus more on negative rather than the positive. It’s all about the gratitude. Gratitude for what you have produces more and more. It’s also about reframing many of our self-limiting thoughts and self talk.

I am offering you the chance to change 2016 to more of the life you want so that people ask, “Where are you in your life?” you’ll be able to respond – “Exactly where I choose to be.”

To help you move closer to your goals in life, I will be starting my yearly class that will help you to start getting those dreams off of Someday Island and onto the Road to Success. Isn’t it time for you to wake up those dreams and get them moving? If you responded, “yes!” then this class might be just what you have been looking for. It starts on Saturday, February 6th and goes for 6 weeks (last session has a 2 week break.) The information on this is on my website and Facebook page.

Goal Setting

The Power of
Goal Setting

What do you want your life to look like in 2016?

Holiday Gift Giving Crazies

Are you sick and tired of the Holiday Gift Giving Crazies?


Four ways to stop the craziness!

Me too! That horrible shopping frenzy which is all about trying to find that special something that is going to please your loved one. Or maybe it is that office gift exchange that has so much more tied to it christmasthan just a gift.

Like you, I have shopped until the idea of sticking out my credit card one more time was too much to bear (in fact, my attitude becomes quite bear-like). Why was I doing this? How did it happen that this buy, buy, buy season become what Christmas or Chanukah, or any other holiday is about? Is it really what we want? If you are like me – the answer is a resounding NO!


girlWhat can you do instead?

Here are just 4 ways to stop the craziness as well as a way to stay away from the traffic, congestion and mall frenzy.
heartSpend time – not money. Consider this, what child or friend or family member would not appreciate the gift of TIME? Time to sit, talk, focus, do something fun. That’s it – you are starting to think about it. As a coach I love the process of shared ideas. Usually, this goes – you come up with an idea, then I will. But since this is a one-way conversation, I will do the suggesting, but please, come up with some of your own. Give a hand made gift certificate:     for a game night,     coffee/tea/hot chocolate time    movie and popcorn night (movie of their choice) and make it fun with blankets,  pillows, etc,     make cookies together and invite friends over,     make beaded bracelets    color a large picture together,         jigsaw puzzles     paint by number,     pedicure/manicure night,     homemade dinner,     the list goes on and on and on.
heartHandmade gifts – OK, maybe you aren’t the creative type, but there are so many great ideas for people of all levels of artistic skills. You can visit Michaels, Craft Warehouse or Joann’s Fabrics or whatever art store is in your area. The people who work there specialize in helping you to find a craft you can do. This might be something like gluing together old plates and creating a bird feeder or maybe taking old vases and stuffing solar lights in them to create outdoor lighting. Or maybe you want to try your hand at knitting your first scarf. Making your own gifts is not only less expensive than the big mall items, but it is something that you are putting love and thought into – not just your credit card. I remember as a child I used to make my own cards, decorations and art objects and give them to my parents. And you know what, I believe they loved them – I know I loved making them. I have created braided bread baskets, knit items – and no they weren’t beautiful – but the love I put in them was.
heartIf you must purchase a gift, how about just focusing on one special one rather than a bunch of little ones? Most of those little gifts are generally made so inexpensively, that they fall apart quickly. Discuss with your friends and family about the “one gift limit” and maybe even set a price bracket of how much to spend. This eliminates a whole lot of worry and concern. What it also does is really have you focus on that one thing that will bring a smile to the gift receiver’s face. I fondly remember one summer when two girlfriends and myself got together. We went shopping in the Hawthorne District in Portland – a really fun, funky area. We decided to buy each other a small token to remind us of this day together. Our limit was less than $5 each. This really set us looking for that very special item. To this day I still have the two items I received from Debbie and Leah. I treasure them. So maybe it isn’t about the big $$$$$, but that small, thoughtful $.
heartCelebration! I think celebration is the most important part of the holiday season. It is a time to get together with friends and family and celebrate the love we have for each other. Instead of focusing on buying gifts, how about focusing in on a special way to celebrate the season. For me, I focus on the New Year and plan a yearly ceremony with my friends around what we want for the year. I have this celebration/ceremony the first Saturday of every year. It is a time for us to gather together, eat, create, talk, and so much more. How can you find a way to make this season about celebration rather than just about the gifts?

Now, how can you take care of yourself during all this craziness? Here are 4 ways – none of this will be new – more of a reminder.

  1. Spend time, not money (see number 1 above)
  2. Take care of yourself and your health first. Yes, this is a time of giving, but if you don’t practice self-care first, you will be stressed, short tempered, perhaps become ill, and a martyr. Choose not to be that person and instead practice self-care by resting enough, eating healthy foods, exercising, and relaxing when needed. If necessary, be a bear and sleep in.bear
  3. I know it is “partee time” but do yourself a favor and avoid drinking too much alcohol (you don’t have to toast everything), too much sugar (remember sugar is a poison to your body), and foods that you know do not make you feel good. IOW, if you generally avoid wheat – don’t eat the Christmas cookie just because grandma made it. Know your limits and “love on yourself.”
  4. Keep moving. Yes, the weather outside is frightful – cold, windy, rainy – downright miserable, but don’t let that stop you from moving. If it is just too awful outside, put on some music and dance, hula-hoop, run up and down the stairs – just don’t sit there – move. Why? Movement keeps you mentally, emotionally and physically healthy. It helps you to deal with stress. And it just makes you feel good.

Do you have some ideas you would like to share? Great! Please go to my blog and share away.

I wish you all a very wonderful conclusion of 2015 and a healthy, vibrant, love filled 2016!


Judith Auslander (and Riley)

Define Yourself


Unpredictable health flair-up’s

Chronic health issues – especially when the symptom flare-ups are unpredictable – can really disrupt your life. It is made worse if you have a family to take care of, a job that you must attend to, and just daily living chores. I get it.

Why do I “get it?” My story!

I have lived with an unpredictable illness for 41 years and I have nearly died so many times, that I have actually lost count. If I am a cat – humm, not sure how many more lives I have left.

I actually have a few chronic diseases – fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, Raynaud’s, and a few others, but the one that started it all was Sheehan’s.

I was a healthy, vibrant 25-year-old when I gave birth to my first and only child. After 20+ hours of labor, I finally gave birth to an 8lb, 10oz baby boy. Immediately, the doctor said something was wrong and I needed to be sedated. It seems that the placenta stuck to my uterus and the doctor decided to detach it by pulling it off. Ouch! After this I was put in recovery. Since I was unconscious, I have no idea how long it was before they finally checked on me. When they did, they found my nearly dead body with 7 pints of blood in the bed. My uterus had prolapsed into my vagina. Through medical technology, they saved me, but not my pituitary gland. It took 12 more years, many doctors, and my almost dying for the 2nd time for doctors to do the necessary tests to find out that I did not have a pituitary gland and that I have Sheehan’s Syndrome. I was known as a walking miracle.beach-rocks

Thus, at the age of 25 my life changed dramatically. I lost a lot of my life including my marriage, my son who eventually went to live with his dad and new step-mom, and a great number of choices. What I didn’t lose was my core – who I am. In fact, that part of me probably got stronger.

What I now Know and would love to share – My Legacy

I know that I am NOT my illness – rather I am always bigger than my illness. How do I know this? I have learned it the hard way.

I am resilient. Hopefully, you are, too. Resilience in coachable! Yup, we know that there is probably no cure for our disease, but with resilience we are empowered!

Sure, I went through the Why Me stage? My life is horrible! I even thought about suicide. But I came out the other end.  I KNOW THAT YOU CAN, TOO!

You are more than a title of whatever disease you have. You have a name, a past, and most of all, a future.

I would love to hear from you. You can respond to this blog and let me know what your chronic disease is and how it affects you. Maybe we can even get an advise/support blog going.

If you need help with staying positive or overcoming life’s up and downs, then let’s talk. I am available either in person or over the phone. I offer a FREE 30 minute Discovery Session. Just click on meetme.so/JudithAuslander to schedule yours. I look forward to helping you to rediscover the YOU who you are at your core.


It’s all YOUR Fault!

Yup! That’s what we say – a lot! We are masters at blaming others for our headache, bumped knee, lack of exercise, or eating chocolate. We blame everyone for everything – no matter how silly the blaming may be.

We are late for an appointment – it’s all the fault of the construction they HAVE to do during the busiest hours of the day.

“Dinner is late because …….”

“I would have been here on time but ……”

“I have a headache because …..”

And of course we can all relate to “The dog ate my homework.”

In the blame game we even go so far as to blame our children, spouses and parents for all the “stuff” in our life. Purpose Fairy had a great video from Brené Brown about blame which was an inspiration for this blog post. Watch it at: http://www.purposefairy.com/78063/on-learning-to-let-go-of-blame/

But what happens when blaming goes so far that we start to avoid responsibility for our own life and the choices we make? As a Life Coach and Hypnotherapist I hear a lot of blaming. Yes, often the abuse, neglect, and poor parenting we received as children does affect our psyche and our life – but we can end the cycle of blaming.

How? By seeking help to end the blame game through counseling, coaching or hypnotherapy. You can get past all the pain and move into a future without the pain from the past.

Think of it this way. Imagine carrying around a backpack everyday – wearing it even when you sleep at night – and this backpack is filled with rocks – lots of heavy rocks. Cumbersome to say the least. Also, probably very painful! When you carry around all the hurt, blame, pain from the past everyday, every year, forever, it is like walking around wearing a backpack filled with rocks. Each rock a weight of anger, pain, guilt and more.

Wouldn’t it be nice to let that backpack drop to the ground – to unload yourself of all the pain of carrying it around?

Of course it would be.

If you are ready to let go – unload – and heal your life – then coaching or hypnotherapy may be the answer you are seeking. Call me for a free discovery session to find out if coaching or hypnotherapy might be right for you.

So, here is my question – what blame/pain are you willing to let go of?

The inner self

Sometimes I am a Biatch!

Recently, I have had to face a few things in my life that have made me angry, created necessary changing of plans, and all in all, asked me to be more flexible then I wanted to be.

All of this change had made me feel – well – pissy! Do you ever feel pissy? When she comes out, I usually wish I could eliminate her. She is not the nicest of people – mostly because she doesn’t feel very nice. The “pissy” me is short with people (beyond my normal height challenges) and has an unpleasant face and can be an all around biatch (if unsure what a biatch is, please visit http://www.internetslang.com/BIATCH-meaning-definition.asp.

Sometimes being a biatch makes me feel regretful for my bad behavior. But sometimes … well, she makes me feel almost powerful. Maybe the whole reason I am being a biatch is because I feel so powerless about things that are going on in my life. When I am the biatch then I am Wonder Woman, the Goddess Lilith, and maybe even a bit of Medusa. “Take that people who get in my way … ha ha ha …. I am the great and terrible Judith – stay away.”

So, is crazy biatch Judith so horrible? Actually, I am not so sure she is. Sometimes, we just have to get our bad on so that we can feel that we have some power in a world that doesn’t leave a lot of room for us to feel empowered. Granted, I would not want to stay in this mood for very long, because the biatch Judith is actually not very happy. What she really wants to do is curl up and cry – either that or hit something – or just make the world an easier place to live.

So, what do you do when you feel your inner biatch come out? Do you stifle her? Do you let her out to have her fun? Do you explain to people that you are just feeling a bit biatchy today? I think I do all of the above. The last few weeks I just felt like there were too many things hitting me at once – health, business, emotional, and I just wanted it all to go away. I like peace and calm – and I felt as if my inner peace and calm was being threatened. Instead of lying down and just accepting it – my inner biatch came out to – well – protect me.


Maybe that is it, she is my guardian angel to help me release all my anger and frustration so that I don’t hurt myself so much inside. It doesn’t mean that I feel good about being mean, rather it means, at least I am letting my anger out and not just holding it in. I know that there are better ways of dealing with all this emotion, but sometimes – well – I just figure the biatch serves her brief purpose.

Please share about the last time you let your inner biatch out.

Responses to Sometimes I am a Biatch

Suz on September 14, 2015 at 9:09 pm

suz Mine comes out occasionally. I like peace and quiet also. I like my routine and when that gets disrupted it can make me really crabby. Or when I have to drop everything I’m doing and clean up a mess or do someone else’s job for them because they are – well- inept, I get a little cranky. I have also found that if I forget to increase my hydrocortisone when I’m really stressed it only makes it worse. I usually don’t hold my anger in.

The Voice of Reason

I’m Talking To Myself Again – Am I Crazy?

Do you find yourself talking to yourself? Do you find yourself questioning your sanity? I heard once that you are only crazy if you actually answer yourself. Well, maybe we aren’t crazy – in fact – maybe self-talk is what keeps us sane!

My May/June edition of Psychology Today actually had an article about Self-Talk, The Voice of Reason. I’ll buy that just on the title – I always talkingknew I was more reasonable than others – my logic always worked for me. Right? As it turns out – yes, you do have the best advice for yourself – that is if – and only if – you are kind, loving, and caring toward yourself.

It also seems to make a difference as to how you address yourself. Do you speak to yourself in the first person, “I am so nervous,” or in the third person, “OK Judith, you have nothing to be nervous about, get control here?” Which do you think is better? We know that people who speak about themselves in the third person are nuts – right? Actually, maybe (or at least drive you, the listener, nuts) – but if they speak to themselves in the third person – as you would a dear friend – then they may actually be doing themselves a favor.

Think about it. If you were talking to a dear friend about something challenging – say a job interview – you would probably say something like, “Don’t worry, you are going to do great, you have the skills, they will love you.” Well, what if you are your own “good friend,” and talk to yourself that way? It works just as well – maybe better. “Don’t worry Judith, you can do this, you are great, you have the skills, they are going to love you.” It’s actually a skill we brought through the generations that has saved us from extinction. As they say in the article, “If self-talk is one of the great achievements of humanness, a gift from our evolutionary forebears and caretakers, who soothed and stoked us with words, it is, in turn, one of the deep-seated drivers of human evolution.”

So, how does this information affect self-affirmations? Self-affirmations have received a lot of bad press in the past few years, but as it turns out – they can be very helpful. Saying positive things to yourself about who you are or how you wish to be can actually help. Things such as: “I feel confident,” “I am beautiful and intelligent,” “Judith you are going to do great at that interview,” can really help boost your outlook and how your see yourself.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this as well as what affirmations have worked for you. Please share them below. And keep talking nicely to yourself – you are worth only the highest of praise.

Big Hugs!

Don’t fart in public!

Don’t Fart in Public!

Published May 25, 2015 | By Judith Auslander


Because it goes against our social norms. As social beings, we follow a list of prescribed social norms for the society we live in. I would love to find society where farting, picking my nose, and burping in public were all socially acceptable. However, because I live where I do, I work very hard at being normal.

When we fart or burb, we may blush with embarrassment.

What happens when we fail? Generally, we feel shame. Fart in public, and you probably feel shame (maybe run down the other aisle in the store leaving your offense behind you.) We immediately try to do something that will bring us back to appropriate behavior. We want to remain a part of our tribe.

But what happens when our shame or embarrassment is for something bigger? What about when we feel like a failure or looser? Lose a job – failure! Marriage or relationship falls apart – failure. Get a D (or heaven forbid an F) on a test – failure. Not be accepted into the college of our choice – failure. The list is endless.

So what happens to us emotionally when we feel we are a failure?

We may feel worthless. Often we call ourselves names like “stupid, dumb, ugly.” Horrible, mean words! Words we wouldn’t say to someone we love.

We might become withdrawn, looking inward for the answer to the why of it all. We try to figure out where we failed. Sometimes we can go so far inward that we become depressed.

What can we do instead? Yes, maybe we could have done something earlier that would have saved the job, the relationship or upped the grade on the test. Maybe there is a lesson to be learned. So, the first thing we could do is to ask ourselves what we learned from the situation? What could we have done differently? With shame and guilt, research has shown, we work to repair our actions and to not reoffend.

We could also apologize and see if amends could be made. It is not about being weak or strong – rather it is about admitting to ones errors and discovering how a hurt might be healed.

Most of all, it is to stop the name-calling. Our self-talk must be the same as we would talk to a cherished loved one. When we verbally berate ourselves with mean words of hate we are avoiding the work that needs to be done to rectify the shame. In other words, stop the blaming and instead, start the healing work.

Remember, no one is perfect!

“Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.” ― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Therefore, I am not perfect, I do fart in public – but quietly!

If you have found yourself struggling to deal with your shame, guilt, pain or anything that is stopping you from living life to the fullest, then please call me – let’s talk . Let’s discover if coaching or hypnosis could help to end the suffering and get you back to living your life.

the Myth of Happiness

The Myth of Happiness

We are all supposed to be happy – right? It is even written in the Constitution of the United States of America that we are guaranteed “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” So, what happens if we aren’t “happy?” Is there something wrong with us?

In fact, we are so geared into the fact (or is it fantasy) that we are supposed to be happy, that we take pills to make us not feel our feelings and instead feel happy. Some of us call them our “happy pills!”

I am calling happiness – and the pursuit of it – a myth. And the reason is that, in my opinion, we will never be truly happy under the conditions we set for what happiness entails.smiley

There is the typical “I’ll be happy when ….” statements. The blank space is generally fall in love, get married, find the perfect job, when the kids are out of the house, when the bills are paid, have the right car or whatever.

The problem is, what if … doesn’t happen – then are we unhappy?

Maybe yes, maybe no.

Question: what happens if you aren’t happy? Are you wrong? Is there something wrong with you? Should you get help?

So, here is another question – what exactly is happiness? What if we put too much pressure on this whole thing of happiness? What if happiness is really something that comes and goes? What if there are only moments of happiness and the rest is just OK? Can you live with that?

I am sure, like me, as a child you were asked, “Are you happy?” and you knew you needed to say “yes” even if you weren’t exactly sure if you were happy because you weren’t really sure what happy felt like. Was getting a something you always wanted happiness? Was having your parent kiss you good night and tuck you into bed happiness? Was playing with a new kitten happiness? Maybe they all are – and maybe they are just life.

What is happiness to you? Is it OK to not be happy? What about all the other emotions/feelings such as anger, shame, guilt, envy, sadness, regret, disappointment, fear, anxiety and all the others? Are they bad?

In my next segment I am going to go over these other feelings and discuss the good and the bad of each.

In the meantime, please reply to my blog and write me your thoughts.

P.S. How about if I said that all feelings are good?

Responses to The Myth of Happiness

blank-postDani on May 6, 2015 at 7:27 pm
Awesome read Judith! Nicely written!

Anger Management

Anger – Constructive or Destructive?

According to The Secret Language of Feelings – (TSLF) by Cal Banyan founder of 5-Path Hypnosis, anger is the feeling (or fear) that something is unfair.

You can almost see that little child inside you stomping his/her little foot (maybe with hands on hips – that was my style) and saying, “That’s not fair!”

However, at a very young age, most of us are told to stop showing our anger – it wasn’t civilized or grown up to show your anger. In fact, in many cases, it was taboo – a big no-no. And we very much wanted to be grown up, so we held our anger in like good little boys and girls. The problem is that we often are not taught how to constructively deal with our anger. And not dealing with our anger can be very angrydestructive.

In my last blog I stated that ALL feelings are good – so then am I saying that anger is good?

You bet I am!

Anger in and of itself is good. It’s how we express (or don’t express) it that is not always good.

We can express our anger, as I did the other day when I was just getting more and more angry by little things and finally exploded at a cashier who was totally unhelpful and rather belligerent (or that is how I saw her), or we stuff it inside. And, much to the chagrin of my 13-year-old granddaughter I lost my cool and destructively expressed my anger. I walked out feeling better, but I am sure I left a bad aura for the rest of the store patrons. I also felt that there was no way I could walk into that store again.

How could I, an educated, over 60-year-old businesswoman lose her cool?

Easily! It happened when I held my anger in and held my anger in and held it in some more. It either eats you alive, or it bursts out at an inopportune moment like mine did.

Anger doesn’t just go away!

No, anger doesn’t just go away or disappear – it goes inside and finds a nice place to hide out until it can come out play havoc in your life.

Anger demands to be dealt with – positively or negatively – it will be dealt with.

The first step to deal with anger is to look at it and see if it is based in reality. Ask yourself these questions: Am I really angry? Am I really feeling that something is unfair? Am I really in fear? If not, then it is a good time to talk yourself down and discover what is really going on. It could be simply frustration.

According to TSLF go through the 3 following steps:

  1. Ask yourself if you are truly feeling anger or something else.
  2. If angry, look for the cause
  3. Ask yourself what would be a satisfying response.

So, in my case, using the TSLF model, I think I was frustrated and overly tired and needed to just sit down and meditate on my belly button for a while.

Does anger have a real purpose?

Absolutely yes!

Anger has a definite purpose, and it may even save your life.

Imagine if you never got angry how you might be exploited, taken advantage of, and never really be safe. Anger can even be your motivator for social change. Think of the civil rights movement. Anger can help the less fortunate be heard.

According to Psychology Today (January/February 2015), anger can be a great way to get what you want out of life. The point is to use your anger as a means to not be taken advantage of, and at the same time, not allow it to get out of control – Constructive vs. Destructive.

Anger can actually boost confidence, optimism and can be a signal to others of your inner strength. Sometimes anger can even make you more credible. It’s all in how you use this power.

Think about it, if you always stuff your anger and never say what you are feeling, how can problems be solved, changes made, relationships built.

Destructive-Distractive Behavior

In my hypnotherapy chair I hear more pain come out as suppressed anger. The little girl who was molested, the little boy who felt unworthy, the man who felt rejected by women, the woman whose promotion was given to another, the child who was made to stay with people she didn’t want to be with – and it goes on and on. In the hypno-chair, the anger is released. And also released are the abusive distractions they have used to stuff the pain. Distractions such as over-eating, gambling, drinking, smoking, nail biting, and all the many ways we use “too much” destructive behavior.

If you are feel that you may have suppressed anger that is affecting you living the life you deserve, experiencing joy to its fullest, living free of pain and painful events, then hypnosis may be just what you are looking for. Contact me for a free Discovery Session and find out if hypnosis might help you.

I recently saw an article that also shows how anger can be even spiritual.

Fear and Anger

“Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Yoda

How much do you suffer from held anger and hate? How much do those feelings lead your life?

cat-fishngerI have discovered that many of my clients suffer from an unlived life or a partial life due to long held anger toward someone who may not even part of their life any longer. Common sense would tell us to let go of useless anger. But what we tell ourselves in our logical mind does not always pass through to our subconscious, which tends to hold on to anger, fear, and hate year after year after year.

So, how does one get over this – let go for real?

We can go through counseling, but talk therapy does not often do the trick. Sometimes, therapy will even reinforce the negative feelings as we keep tickling the memory by talking about it over and over again. Sometimes therapy is what is needed – that is why we have therapists, but sometimes going through hypnosis is the answer that is needed.

In hypnosis (at least the kind that I do) it allows you to re-experience a negative event and see it from a different perspective allowing you to create a more mature or more proactive experience. Also, in hypnosis you have the opportunity of forgiving the perpetrator. {Important note: Forgiving does not mean forgetting, condoning or liking the perpetrator.} What forgiving does do is allow you to let go of the anger, the hate, and in the end, the suffering. This allows you to start living your life without all the baggage.

So, you can start living your life your way.

What are you carrying around that is no longer useful? What fear, anger, hate are you ready to let go of to end the suffering.

P.S. Thanks Yoda

Do we really know what we are feeling?

2 Ways to Avoid Extra Pounds


Feelings – we all have them. But do we really know what we are feeling? Most of the time we are clueless as to what we are feeling.

poundsLet’s take for example hunger. We are watching TV and suddenly we will get the munchies. Something in us tells us we really want to eat something.

You know how this works. You walk into the kitchen and start looking through the refrigerator, the cupboards, and those places you stash the “bad” snacks. Sure there is food in all those places, but you are on the search for something – what is it?

Well, the thing is – your probably are not truly feeling hungry. This kind of “noshing” is what causes fat. Why? Because you more than likely are not really feeling hunger. The problem is – we don’t know what we are feeling.

There are two things that I can help you with here.

  1. Realize first of all where hunger is REALLY felt. Here is a clue; it is not in your brain. It’s in your stomach – in that area right above your belly button. And, if you are truly hungry, opening the refrigerator and heading for a chicken leg, carrot sticks, celery with nut butter or an apple will sound great. If you are not really hungry then you usually will go for the non-nourishing snack food that goes straight to your waistline.
  2. So, how do you know what is really going on – you ask yourself. Here’s how, “1,2,3 What am I feeling?” That simple question will help save your waistline. When you ask – what am I feeling – you really have to go inside yourself and ask yourself – what am I feeling? I will be happy to send you a list of feelings that come from the book, The Secret Language of Feelings, that will really help you narrow down what is exactly is going on inside your feeling mind. Just email me at Judith@WiseHeartCoaching.com and I will be happy to send it to you.

Talk Nice!

3 Ways to Talk Nice!

negativelabelsSelf-talk has been a topic of those in the healing field for a long time. So, long in fact, that I thought “everyone” knew about self-talk and how it truly affects ones thinking about themselves. And yet, day after day, it is proven to me by my clients that there is still not enough talk about self-talk.

What is self-talk?

Basically, it is exactly as it sounds – how you talk about yourself to yourself. Far too often we are extremely critical of ourselves – and we let ourselves know it. Mistakenly, we think, “Oh, it doesn’t matter, I know I’m kidding.” I say “mistakenly” because it is a HUGE mistake to think how you talk about yourself does not matter.

There is this little thing called a sub-conscious, which is what I work with during hypnosis, and let me tell you, your sub-conscious does not take anything as a joke. No matter how funny you are, your sub-conscious is NOT. That huge part of your brain sees everything as black and white, right and wrong, yes or not. There is no gray, maybe or perhaps. So, when you say terrible things to yourself, like “I am so fat, ugly, dumb, etc” your sub-conscious takes it as absolute fat (and saying, “I’m kidding,” doesn’t work).

So, here are 3 things to ask yourself before you say something nasty about yourself to yourself.

  1. Would I say this to my best friend, my child, my spouse, my boss, to someone I cared about? If the answer is no, then don’t do it.
  2. Instead of saying things like, “I’m so stressed,” “I’m am exhausted,” or “I can’t understand this,” be in question. In other words, ask yourself a question instead, such as, “I wonder why I am so tired, stressed, not seeming to understand this?” If you ask yourself a question, then you can come up with an answer that help you change the situation and it does not criticize.
  3. Instead of saying, “I can’t, I won’t, I shouldn’t” change it to what you can, will, want to do. For example, if you want to buy a new dress (or any article of clothing), instead of saying, “I can’t buy this” or “I can’t afford this,” change it to what you can do. You can save your money, you can wait until payday, you can decide how to afford it. This change in wording can make a huge change in your personal power. It exchanges powerlessness for powerfulness. You are now in control.

Now, giving yourself a pep talk, that’s great! “I can do this,” “I am capable,” talk is wonderful to help you get a job done. You can also encourage yourself with words such as “shoulders back, head straight, tummy in, walk proud!” Hey, that’s great self-talk.

Plans and Adversity

The Plans of Mice & Men (Women)!

 I just finished training in Las Vegas for a wonderful new process called Gastric Band Hypnosis. It’s great! The client goes through the process of the gastric band surgery – but mickey_mouse_cartoonwithout the surgery! How does it get better than that? Well it does because it has a 95% success rate – better than the band itself.

Anyway, I decided then and there that I was going to start saving money so that I can go to the National Hypnosis Convention in Massachusetts in August and also take the Stage Hypnosis course. No sooner did I decide that then my crown fell off my tooth. I thought it could just be put back on – but no way (it has a hole in it) so $1000 later I will have a new crown.

So, what happens to our plans? I know I am not alone in planning one thing and then life decides – uh uh, no way – I have other plans for you. How do you survive these shifts in plans? It’s not easy!

I am interested in hearing your views.

Self Sabotage

Four Reasons We Self Sabotage

stop-self-sabotage-behaviourWhy We Self-Sabotage (continued from WHC Insights Newsletter – if you missed your copy, just email me and I will send it out to you.)

In WHC Insights we discovered how we all self-sabotage.
The first of the Four Reasons was Our Values are not Attuned to our Goals and two, Fear of Failure. Now on to reasons 3 and 4.

3. Fear of Success

Yup, you can have fear of success. How? The biggest fear of success is that you will actually succeed – then what? How will you be changed? How will life change? What will friends and family think?
Let’s take losing weight as a concept – you lose the weight over summer break from school. In the fall you meet up with your old friends but you are no longer interested in joining them for the usual burger and fries. You aren’t behaving as they predict. When you do join them, you order a salad.  Yikes! The camaraderie of burgers and fries is missing. What do you do? Often you might just give in and regain the weight so that you can keep the same relationships.
Or, what if you are successful at your business and start making money. Instead of being the poor friend or family member you now have new clothes, new car, maybe you purchase a home, travel. Will there be jealousy? Will you find yourself feeling like you should pay for times you all go out? Yes, of course, true friends will be your “Hurray” team, but things change. Also, are you ready to see yourself as a person who has the wealth that you only dreamed about? Are you prepared for success?
Sometimes it is just easier to not rock the boat and instead of losing weight, becoming successful, and succeeding, to just sabotage and fail.

 4. Lack of Commitment

 Generally, lack of commitment is when you decide you want to change something or start doing something that you normally don’t do. These include all of the above ideas such as losing weight, exercising, going to school, writing a book, walking or bicycling to work rather then driving, start the business you have always wanted, learn another language – the millions of things that you say you “want” to do, but are not really committed to. Maybe it is a dream, a want, a desire – not really something you are willing to put actual time and energy into. The trick is, to know when something is just a nice idea, but that the heart really isn’t into the work it will take to follow through to the end.

If you start a new project, and you aren’t committed, then you will most assuredly sabotage and not follow through.

There are other reasons we self-sabotage or resist. Maybe our steps are too huge – like wanting to lose 30 pounds. Maybe if they were smaller, easier steps such as losing 5 pounds? Then we could celebrate and then make the next goal another 5 pounds.
Love your comments – Judith

Core Values – Ego

What happens when we Jump To Conclusions?

We all do it – jump to a conclusion.

Today, I had that experience with a dear friend. It was painful! My friend had jumped to a    conclusion and called me angry and with accusations that I was immediately hurt by and  responded to.

I reacted! I retaliated with my own anger at her accusations. I defended myself. This is the  ego in full defense – and my body responded. My blood pressure went up, I could feel my head start to ache, my voice rose with anger, and replied to her with what I felt was justification. There was also a part of me that wanted to hide – to just say “OK” and end the argument. To swallow my hurt instead of speaking my pain.

The thing is – all of my immediate reactions were part of my lower self – my ego – which felt that it needed to protect itself. Instead of being in question, I became reactive. Instead of inviting the Light in to help me in understanding the situation better, I belched out my anger.

Later, once I calmed down and thought about the situation I realized that this was not like my friend at all. It is not normal for her to accuse instead of asking questions. So, I called her back. I apologized for responding from my ego and asked her what was going on with her, if she was okay. Through communicating from our higher self we realized that we both reacted incorrectly and promised to ask questions rather than accuse. This felt whole – this felt light.

When have you responded from your ego – reactive self – instead of your higher side? I would love to read your comments

Stretch Yourself

What are you going to change for 2014?

My most recent WHC Insights newsletter asked how you were going to        S-T-R-E-T-C-H yourself in 2014. I look forward to you adding your ways of stretching here. And I will check in and will comment.

In the meantime – Wise Heart Coaching is also going to be stretching and spreading her wings.

Stay tuned for changes to the website. These changes will reflect the various ways that Wise Heart Coaching is changing and growing. This year I graduated with two different certificates: 1. as a Sage-ing Leader and 2. as a CVI (Core Value Index) Assessment Coach. I will be doing CVI assessments which includes one hour of coaching for $99. You will learn a lot more about yourself. If interested, drop me a line. Just visit my Contact Me Page.

This year Wise Heart Coaching is also branching out into the business world. Using the CVI, my book on goal setting, along with the many tools I have learned in building a team.

In May I will be attending The Wellness Institute in Issaquah Washington to become a Hypnotherapist. This is something that I have wanted to do for years and am very excited about adding hypnotherapy to my coaching skills.

2014 promises to be a big year for Wise Heart Coaching and I am honored that you are joining me on this adventure.



An Attitude of Gratitude

It is easy to be in gratitude for the things that are wonderful in life such as family, friends, full tummy, watching the baby play with the dog, but what about those things that we generally don’t feel gratitude for? Here are some tips to be in a constant state of gratitude.

1.     Make bill-paying a time for gratitude. Yes, paying bills IS a time for gratitude. As your write each check or pay each online bill, be in gratitude. Be thankful that you owe the money as this means that your life was added to in some way. If the bill is for your mortgage or rent – thank you for the roof over our heads. If the bill is for your education – thank you for the opportunity to go to school. If the bill is for electric, gas, telephone, be thankful for these things as well. If you maintain an attitude of gratitude as you pay your bills you are actually adding to the positive vibration that goes with your money – both coming in and going out. You create a feeling of bounty. So, as you sign that check or click “pay” say a brief “thank you.” These two words, this feeling of thanks, will make bill paying a lot better. Blessings everywhere.

2.    When you are stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic, instead of adding to the negative feelings that everyone around you has, be in gratitude. Yup! Traffic usually has a lot of negative energy. When you are angry, too, you only add to the negative vibration around you. You become a part of the negative energy. What can you do instead? How about turning up the radio and sing really loud. Or turn to the neighboring driver and smile and mouth “hi.” This not only makes you feel better, you have just helped to brighten someone else’s mood as well. Kids do it all the time. Do you remember waving at every car when you were a kid? People almost always waved back.

3.     You’re standing in a long line waiting to check out or return an item or whatever reason and the line has only budged a small amount in the last 10 minutes. How can you be in gratitude with this mess? You can do a couple of things. One might be to realize this is NOT how you want to spend your time and leave – it might be best to come back at a time when there are more sales people or just less people. Or, you could start chatting with the other people in line. You might make a new friend – how much gratitude is there in that? Maybe you can all start singing to whatever song that is playing on the store’s music system. If you are in gratitude rather than anger, you can make it into a party. Maybe you can Congo Line up to the register. The thing is if you are angry about the long wait, you spread your anger to the other people in line and what might have been an opportunity to make a new friend; you have instead spread the negative energy around.

I can’t say that I am not guilty of a less than thankful attitude while paying an outrageous bill or standing at a never-ending line at the post office. Like you, I need to be reminded that an attitude of gratitude is not just a “holiday” thing, it is an all year – 365 days a year thing.

In gratitude for all my wonderful followers,


PS How do you show gratitude daily? Please comment below – we love comment

Are you stuck?

Hey, knock, knock – are you stuck?

As the summer of 2013 comes to a close I feel some old fears popping up. Do you feel them? Usually those fears revolve around money, job, shelter, love, family, etc.

A number of years ago I took a wonderful course called Fearless Living by Rhonda Britten. You may have heard of Rhonda because she was a guest on Oprah a number of times. She also had a show back in the 90’s called “Starting Over.” I was so thrilled with the concepts behind Fearless Living that I became certified as a facilitator of her amazing method of living a life absent of fear.

I don’t teach this 10-week class often because it is … well 10 weeks …. but it is such a powerful way to end the year, that I have to offer it again.

So, here is a little about the course: It is a customized 10-week phone-in coaching course will help you reach your authentic life. Each session will bring you closer to a life filled with joy. Be bold the way you always wanted to be.

As your coach and facilitator, I will help you acquire peace of mind, build your confidence, and have a deeper understanding of the world. I will guide you and your fellow Fearless Living group members on this path of understanding and love.

How does this work?

We will meet via teleconference in a small group to ensure intimacy and personal contact for an hour once a week. All calls will be recorded so that you may go back and re-listen or catch up on a call you might miss. You can listen from your desk at work or from your couch at home. Anywhere that is comfortable for you.

As an added bonus, I will provide you with your Core Value Index Assessment (CVI). CVI measures how you can make your highest and best contribution in society. You’ll learn how to draw on your strengths. This is a powerful tool that can help you determine your path to success. CVI consultation is 50 minutes long and includes my careful coaching and encouragement.

Be sure to check my website under Workshops and then under Fearless Living.

Come join me in living Fearlessly!


New Renaissance Bookstore

I am so excited!

On Sunday, October 20th, I will be giving a talk at New Renaissance Bookstore from 1:00 to 5:00 (4 hours). This is a great opportunity and hope that some of you can join me.

Finding Purpose In the Second Half of Life
Judith Auslander, Sun. Oct. 20, 1-5 pm $40

Here is the write-up on the New Ren newsletter about my talk:
We’ve heard of our Inner Child but what about our Inner Elder? This workshop explores the process of Sage-ing, a way of living the second half of our lives joyfully, with deep meaning, purpose and fulfillment. It involves cultivating personal and spiritual growth, developing new passions and forms of service. Judith will guide you to look at some of the obstacles that stop you from enjoying your elder years fully, such as fear of our mortality, the unfinished work of grief and forgiveness or the perception of invisibility in a culture obsessed with youth. Judith Auslander is the author of the book, The Power of Goal Setting and owner of Wise Heart Coaching she is a Certified Life Coach and Sage-ing Leader.

To participate go to http://newrenbooks.com/events/oct_reg.html#aus and find my name.

Holiday Season

Take Charge of the Upcoming Holiday Season Now!

From September 24th WHC Insights Newsletter – not getting yours – sign up today! (It’s over there – right there – on your right – see it?)

The Autum Equinox! Fall – Crisp Air, Falling Leaves, beautiful colors of orange, red and brown.  I love fall, don’t you?  Bundling up for the cold.  Planting bulbs to come up in the spring.  It is also the beginning of the holiday season.  How do you feel about the holidays?  Do they bring happiness, a huge “to do” list, or maybe the holidays bring sadness or loneliness?  There are ways to cope with all the emotions that get tangled up (like last years Christmas tree lights) around this time of year.

First of all, make sure you take care of yourself.  Often we get so busy taking care of others, we forget the very important duty to take care of ourselves.  When we neglect ourselves, we are not serving others.  Caretakers are often the ones who need caring for.  They are so busy making sure that everyone’s needs are looked after that they forget themselves – affecting their own health.  So, my first advice is self-care.  Granted you may not be showing your toes right now, but go get a pedicure anyway.  It feels wonderful and is time just for you.  Or, bundle up and go out and explore the beauty of mother nature.  When we spend too much time indoors we don’t get to breathe in the clean air we need for our physical and mental health.

Second is to Plan Ahead.  Make a list of everything on your mental “to do” list, and allow your mind to think of other things. Take your list and divide it up into weeks.  This way you avoid the stress of last minute running around.  Remember, everyone else who is stressed and running around at the last minute is stressing your energy field as well.  Prepare in advance and you are protecting your energy field and everyone elses.

Third suggestion is exercise.  Nothing releases the tension in your body and your mind more than a good sweat. Exercising either outside or at the gym; sweating out the toxins is good! Exercise opens up the lungs, cleans out the pores, and really helps your body feel good.  Make sure that if you haven’t exercised for a while to take it slow.  Starting out like gangbusters will only make you sore and you will quit.  Going too fast is a great way to self-sabotage yourself, and you do not want to do that.

Fourth suggestion is to find friends to hang with, laugh with, go to the movies with, take a class with, exercise with, and share meals with.  True friends will not let you hang around in a state of self-pity.  They will hug you when you need a hug and kick you in the tush when you need that as well.  They can also help take the stress out of the holidays.  There is no reason for you to be alone.  Remember, it’s a choice.  Give yourself the power to make a choice that works for you.

Fifth and last suggestion is to sign up today for my upcoming Fearless Living Class. Living a Faith Based Life over a Fear Based Life changes everything. Join me and up to 15 guests for 10 weeks of learning how to live fearlessly. Fearless Living is based on the book by Rhonda Britten, which we will use throughout the 10 weeks; October 16th – Dec. 18th. Tell your friends and family to sign up today. Great holiday gift idea. Registration is now open – $155 for 10 weeks – that’s only $15.50 a class!!!! Make 2014 a Fearless Year!

Fearless Living

Fearless Living is back

In coaching I find that many of my clients are living a fear-based, rather than faith-based life. And that makes so much sense. Look at our media, it is filled with fear. We are told to fear everything from underarm odor to war in the Middle East. There is very little – if anything – about living a faith-based life. In fact, who even knows what a faith-based life is? If you are curious, it is a life that is based on trust, faith, and an inner knowing that I know the right decision for my life. A faith-based life is staying in the moment and not living in the past or in tomorrow, but right here, right now. It is actually a wonderful way to live. It is the way I am constantly working to live my life.

So, who did I learn all this great information from – Rhonda Britten – from her wonderful book, Fearless Living. I read her book and loved it, so I decided to find out more. I went online and took her course in how to teach Fearless Living using her book as a guide.

Since than I have taught several Fearless Living classes. Mostly, I teach it over a conference line in group sessions. This allows people from all over the country to participate.


Sage-ing and a New Kind of Journaling

Wow! This year is starting out with busy, fun, and enlightening.

I am currently half way through my first Sage-ing course – 3 weeks of delight. I feel so honored to be taking these souls through the Sage-ing journey.

I start my next class on Monday, March 4th at Apositiva in Portland, Oregon. See the flyer on the Sage-ing page or on my Wise Heart Coaching Facebook page. This will be a 5-week course.

I am also taking a fantastic course from Janet Connor called Writing Down Your Soul from her book with the same name. It is journaling – but not journaling. This is a way to get into the Theta brainwave so that you are writing, but not with your conscious, critical mind. It is done quickly without editing. When writing you address the voice within. I have so far called mine, My Dearly Beloved. It is a love letter from myself to myself. I am very much looking forward to reaching my soul self in writing. With this I will discover even more of my purpose in life, be more successful in my work, and feel more satisfied within my life choices. This is a gift I am giving myself.

I have also completed my thesis on Intergenerational Communities and receive my second masters from Marylhurst. I feel proud that I made it through this a second time – but I wouldn’t want to do it again.

Blessings all, Judith