3 Ways to Talk Nice!
Self-talk has been a topic of those in the healing field for a long time. So, long in fact, that I thought “everyone” knew about self-talk and how it truly affects ones thinking about themselves. And yet, day after day, it is proven to me by my clients that there is still not enough talk about self-talk.
What is self-talk?
Basically, it is exactly as it sounds – how you talk about yourself to yourself. Far too often we are extremely critical of ourselves – and we let ourselves know it. Mistakenly, we think, “Oh, it doesn’t matter, I know I’m kidding.” I say “mistakenly” because it is a HUGE mistake to think how you talk about yourself does not matter.
There is this little thing called a sub-conscious, which is what I work with during hypnosis, and let me tell you, your sub-conscious does not take anything as a joke. No matter how funny you are, your sub-conscious is NOT. That huge part of your brain sees everything as black and white, right and wrong, yes or not. There is no gray, maybe or perhaps. So, when you say terrible things to yourself, like “I am so fat, ugly, dumb, etc” your sub-conscious takes it as absolute fat (and saying, “I’m kidding,” doesn’t work).
So, here are 3 things to ask yourself before you say something nasty about yourself to yourself.
- Would I say this to my best friend, my child, my spouse, my boss, to someone I cared about? If the answer is no, then don’t do it.
- Instead of saying things like, “I’m so stressed,” “I’m am exhausted,” or “I can’t understand this,” be in question. In other words, ask yourself a question instead, such as, “I wonder why I am so tired, stressed, not seeming to understand this?” If you ask yourself a question, then you can come up with an answer that help you change the situation and it does not criticize.
- Instead of saying, “I can’t, I won’t, I shouldn’t” change it to what you can, will, want to do. For example, if you want to buy a new dress (or any article of clothing), instead of saying, “I can’t buy this” or “I can’t afford this,” change it to what you can do. You can save your money, you can wait until payday, you can decide how to afford it. This change in wording can make a huge change in your personal power. It exchanges powerlessness for powerfulness. You are now in control.
Now, giving yourself a pep talk, that’s great! “I can do this,” “I am capable,” talk is wonderful to help you get a job done. You can also encourage yourself with words such as “shoulders back, head straight, tummy in, walk proud!” Hey, that’s great self-talk.