You Are Not Broken

“Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner. Do your work, then step back, the only path to serenity.”

―Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

This quote most likely resonates with most of us. Yet, we continue to walk around, whether we know it or not, seeking approval.

Am I good enough?

Likeable enough?
Pretty enough?
Thin enough?
Am I dressed right?
What about my hair?

What if someone does not approve of you?
What if they shun you for being different?
Have you ever changed to please someone else?
If you have, you are not alone.

There are changes we all make to be an ‘acceptable’ member of society. Women have long donned girdles, stockings and high heeled shoes to fit into what is considered beauty. We diet, watch what we say, chew with our mouths closed, style and comb our hair, and so much more to be a member of the team.

It Begins In Childhood

Actually, this behavior of changing ourselves to ‘fit in’ begins in childhood when we learn quickly the ways we must conform in order to make it through family dynamics

I talk to clients all the time who learned how to become invisible to avoid being seen by their parent with emotional or addiction issues.

What about in school where we learn how to morph into whatever creature will either get us the attention we are looking for or deny our individualism so we can avoid bullies?

Many of us stop asking questions and just listen to what it being told to us. We buy into the things we hear from our parents, society, social media, peer groups.

All of this morphing into something deemed acceptable by some puts a burden on us (and others). What happens when we can never be our authentic selves?
What mask do you find yourself wearing in different situations?
Or maybe it feels like you have a wall full of masks that you pick from before leaving the house?

By continually denying ourselves to get the approval of others, we lose who we are at our core. Do you accept someone talking down to you in order to keep their love?
Do you tolerate bad behavior from a boss for fear of losing your job?
Do you pretend to enjoy something to be accepted by your friends?
When we detach from our core there is a constant feeling of dissonance.

A number of my clients feel this way and that they need ”fixing”. What do you believe needs ‘fixing’ in you? My philosophy in my practice is that we are not broken. We can strive to be our authentic, beautiful selves and to accept ourselves just as we are! Free of the labels of unworthiness or ‘less than’ that we place on ourselves and others.

This quote sometimes attributed to Oscar Wilde is so simple, yet so hard.

What if you stop wearing a mask that someone else prescribes for you, and instead experience the freedom of no longer being a prisoner to how others see you?
Imagine how it

would feel if you learned to love yourself – the whole package.

What if you were told that there is nothing wrong with you?
Imagine how your world would change.

“My mission should I choose to accept it, is to find peace with exactly who and what I am.

To take pride in my thoughts, my appearance, my talents, my flaws and to
stop this incessant worrying that I can’t be loved as I am.”
— Anais Nin

The movement from masked fakeness to open authenticity can be daunting work. One of the keys to unlocking these false beliefs from childhood is by doing inner child work.

I would be honored to join you on this journey to self-healing and self-realization by utilizing hypnosis or coaching. The results can be freeing and energizing!

Schedule your Free 30-Minute Discovery Session Today: meetme.so/judithauslander

“Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner. Do your work, then step back, the only path to serenity.”

It Begins In Childhood

You Are Not Broken

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